Top Ten TCK Quirks

To continue with my series on quirks of different cultures, here is one on TCKs. The first one I did was Top Ten Lhasa Quirks.

Here is a book about us TCKs that I also mentioned on my Me Page:
Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds
 

  1. Visas and passports

For the longest time, I didn’t know that there were two meanings to the word "visa". I thought it meant that thing in your passport that allows you to go to different countries. It wasn’t until I got a lot older (I’m embarrassed to say when), that I finally figured out that a visa was also a brand of credit card.

I thought that all citizens of every country were given passports at birth. I didn’t know until I got a lot older than even when I realized what a visa was before I figured out that you actually had to apply for a passport. I will again decline to say how old due to embarrassment.

  2. Drinking

By the time university rolls around, drinking is old hat, especially if you go to universities in the U.S. TCKs are able to go to clubs and bars at the age of fourteen if not younger. As long as you look foreign, drinking areas in Asia tend to be really lax about age. While counterparts in the U.S. were guzzling PBR in basements, we were dressing up to the nines to go to the latest hip club. It is quite jarring to go from that to college towns where frat parties with their beer that tastes like water gone wrong are a big deal. This is the reason why U.S. university students who go abroad for the first time tend to go crazy. I have seen this firsthand.

"No open bottle laws?!" "We don't need fake IDs that might get rejected?!" "Let's drink and go out ALL the time!"

This doesn't apply to schools in Europe, although expensive drinks and cover charges are no fun. 

  3. How well we know airports and airlines

TCKs can speak of airports and airlines with authority. Something of a necessity, it pays to know which airlines have the comfiest coach seats and which ones are most likely to give upgrades. I have been very lucky with Japanese airlines when it comes to upgrades. They also have amazing food, even in coach. Same goes with airports. If we are picking a flight, then it is always good to go through ones that have the best restaurants and entertainment. I am a big fan of Narita as well as Detroit. I actually had my first legal drink in the U.S. at Detroit's airport.

  4.  The world is a tiny, tiny place

Have you heard of the game, “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon”? Basically you try to link any actor with Kevin Bacon using movies that he has acted in and you have to do this with only six intermediary actors. Our lives are like, “Six Degrees of TCKs”. I have been shocked at the random people I have met in my life that either went to the same school I did but at a different time, or knows someone who I know. TCKs are a pretty small community and there are only so many international schools out there. The best example I have is this: one of my best friends from AISC (American International School Chennai) told me her cousin would be going to UVA too and that he graduated from AES (American Embassy School New Delhi, where I used to go when I was in elementary school). I didn’t think anything of it until I found out on moving day first year that he lived right below me. We became good friends all throughout college.

  5. Confused about our roots

TCKs have some of the most privileged lives. We have been able to live around the world and have seen more things than some people ever will. However, most TCKs that I have talked to (including me) have somewhat of an identity crisis. While our passports say one thing, our experiences say quite another. I spent more time celebrating Indian holidays when I was little than American. I literally went to the U.S. once a year, if that. My conception of what it was to be American was having the commissary and being able to buy fruit rollups and gushers. I am also a mix. When I am in Hong Kong, people call me gui mui (ghost girl. Gui is a somewhat derogatory term for Caucasians). When I am in the States, people think I am Chinese. When I am in the Philippines, people think I am Filipino and then get really insulted that I don’t speak Tagalog. I have even passed for North Indian (way north)! As frustrating as it is to have a shifting identify (even though it is handy at times), it is even worse when people assume things of you.

  6. Spoiled and bragging rights

I am spoiled. I grew up having a driver, a maid, a cook, etc. I have flown around the world and gone to many exotic locations. To me, traveling is not a big deal and it is something that I cannot live without. Because of this, I have had to work on toning down a superiority complex and belief that travel is this easy for everyone. However, even with how spoiled I am, that is nowhere near as bad as some people I have met. One girl I knew was on a field trip and had Pizza Hut helicoptered to the mountains so she wouldn’t have to eat the food there (although I don't think you could consider her a TCK since, to my knowledge, she never lived in any place other then her home country, even if she did go to the international school). 

 Bragging is also a problem. Even when we are not trying to brag, it comes off as bragging. Listing a ton of places that you have been to or casually tossing out that you will be spending New Years on a beach in the Philippines tends to rub some people the wrong way. What we take for granted can be construed as arrogance and sometimes actually is. To be fair, it is hard not to sound like an @$$ when you rattle of a list of countries or say something like, “When I was in elementary school, one of my best friends owned a camel and we used to ride it.” (that is actually true)

  7. Knowing some phrases in a ton of different languages

When you move around a lot, you tend to pick up things in other languages. These tend to be limited to swear words, thank you, and really random phrases that are no help whatsoever except for breaking the ice. For example, I can say, “No effing in my car” in German and “Run for effs sake” in Swedish. I hope I am never in the position where I genuinely need to say either one, especially the Swedish one. 

  8. Dread the question, “So, where are you from?”

TCKs are not fond of being asked where they are from, especially by unsuspecting people. If you ask this question you will get a laundry list of places. It also gets a little awkward when a TCK doesn’t know how to respond because our drawn out silence and confused expressions make people think we are idiots. If you see this look:

That means we are trying to figure out if you mean ethnicity, nationality, or where we grew up. One issue with this is when people are not familiar with this lifestyle. For example, the Boy got really confused when we first met and thought I was Filipino for awhile, even though the Philippines is one of the places that I lived the shortest amount of time... 

If another TCK asks the question, then we are actively excited since we can then compare whether or not we have friends in common or ever played against each other in a tournament.

  9. Talk about schools in abbreviations

As you might have noticed in quirk number 4, all international schools can be simplified into abbreviations: AES, AISC, AISD, ASB, ISM, HKIS, etc. These names usually have an international or an American in there somewhere. Sometimes even both. There are a ton of tournaments between different groups of international schools that are usually divided by region. Since it is a pain to have to say, “Yes, I go to the American International School of Dhaka, thank you for asking! Where do you go?” every time, we all speak in abbreviations.

10. Adaptable

Of course we don't have a monopoly on being adaptable but one of the key traits of the vast majority of TCKs is that we can roll with pretty much any situation you throw at us. We have had to develop this skill out of necessity. Depending on the type of TCK you are, you move every one to six years. My pattern was one, two, two, four, four, three, one. I never had any control over where I would be moving. It was pretty much where my dad bid and where the state department decided to send us. It can be difficult being the new kid over and over again but, especially when you go to international schools, everyone is the new kid or has recently been the new kid. It was the hardest for me when I moved to the U.S. for 4 years since most of the kids I met had known each other since they were toddlers. I seem to be extra adaptable in Southeast Asia due to my mixed heritage (see quirk number 5). Whatever country I am in, people think I am from there and then tend to get really upset when I don't speak the language! This has so far happened in Japan, the Philippines, Thailand, Malaysia, China... People have even thought north Indian and Tibetan!

That rounds out this list! Let me know what you think. If you have comments or criticisms, please leave them at the bottom. I mean it, if you have any issues with me, write it here so that a meaningful and calm dialogue can occur.

Posted in: Hong Kong,Personal,TCK Stuff,Tibet,Travel